Mr. President

C gave his JFK book report Friday. Our school district doesn't allow kids to dress for Halloween, but C's class does a Biography report that is due at the end of October, and the kids can dress up as their subject.

When C chose his subject, I asked why he picked JFK. (Frankly, I thought it made for a pretty boring costume in comparison.) He told me that other kids were choosing people like George Washington and Albert Einstein. "Mom, I just didn't want fuzzy hair!"

Batman vs. the Bee

I've seen a few commercials on TV recently that cause me to furrow my eyebrows and ask, "Who is running their marketing department anyway?" Granted, I am more than a little on the conservative side; some might even use the adjective "prudish". But their ads are having an adverse reaction on me. Maybe they don't want parents to buy their products. Maybe I'm not the target audience.

But I'm proud of my son for recognizing a company's lack of morals. A little boy dressed like Batman for Halloween approaches a house where he finds a bowl of candy with a sign which reads "Please just take one." He puts a piece of candy in his bag and contemplates taking another one. Just as he decides to do the right thing and only take one, an adorable little girl in a bee costume arrives. With her pigtails bouncing, she grabs a fistful of candy and shoves it in her pumpkin container. Batman points out that the sign says to only take one, and she replies, "I can't read." And the little thief walks away as she rolls her eyes.

And C's comment? "That's wrong." Without any prompting from us, he knew that wasn't the right thing to do. I do worry that as our society makes light of lying, stealing, and cheating, most children won't see a clear line between right and wrong. Like the little Bee, they will think the children with morals are the dupes.

Crazy Hair Day

It's Red Ribbon Week!

Aerated milk chocolate? Really?

Why do I need air in my chocolate? Is this a new diet trend? Are you really going to try to sell me less chocolate for the same price? Does anyone really fall for this? I wasn't born yesterday. If I eat chocolate filled with anything, it won't be air; it'll be caramel. Yum!

Who is Riffin?

Another family favorite sign:

(I think they forgot about the Gs.)

Love my new iPhone!

We upgraded all of our phones. A and I got the iPhone 4, and SuperD got the 3G. His was FREE! I love free! So This is my first blog from my phone. Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3 . . .

Internal Clock

Having an internal clock comes in handy most of the time. I rarely oversleep. I don't have to worry about being late to work. I typically awaken at the same time every day unless I I stayed up really late, like when A and I go to a Harry Potter premier.

On days like today, I'd like to throw my internal clock across the room and smash it against the wall. It's the first day of Fall Break, and I'm up at 6 o'clock. Most teachers are sleeping in. I guess instead of sleeping late, I get to take a nap today.

Meet Lady

Her full name is Milady Clarick de Winter. She is named after a character in Alexandre Dumas' The Three Musketeers. She received her name when we brought her home and she tried to commit suicide by leaping from the PetCo box to the kitchen floor. Fortunately, she was simply stunned. (Technically, Milady de Winter didn't commit suicide in the book, but no one in my family knows any story other than the movie version.)

Lady is a Roborovski hamster, or robo-hamster to us. They are the smallest of the hamster varieties and apparently extremely skittish and fast. Unlike Peanut, she doesn't like to be touched, but she is more active than Peanut and more fun to watch. If I ever do get to hold her, she is supposed to be hypoallergenic. She seems to be getting used to me, since she lets me touch her a little. Her favorite activity is running on her wheel, as the wheel squeaks all night long.

Cake Wreck

This could be the ugliest cake ever. But C is mighty proud of it. He won it at a Cake Walk at our school's Family Fun Night. It was a little naked when we got it home, and he wanted me to write "Family Get-Together" on it for when my mom came over for dinner. All I had was a pastel green frosting. I blobbed the green all over it to cover up the holes in the original icing from where the lid messed it up. It just got worse and worse. But would you look at the smile on sweet son's face?

Heelys Horror

This is what is left of C's elbow after the Heelys crash. This picture actually makes it look good. It looks more like he had an accident with a cheese grater. I guess he will have to wear elbow and knee pads anytime he wears his beloved shoes. I was so excited about the great deal I got on them, and now I despise them. He never stops skating. I have had to ban them both at school and at church. He got in trouble at the zoo for skating on the sidewalk. He rolls up and down the aisles of the grocery store. His favorite place to wear them is at the mall. I just know we're going to get kicked out one of these days!

What if...?

My son is forever asking "What if..." questions. It drives me crazy. His latest obsession has sparked a ton of "What if..." questions: McDonald's Monopoly. One of the game pieces he pulled from his Hash Brown was Indiana Avenue. He was SO excited! He thought he had won $50,000! I nearly broke his heart when I explained that he had to collect all three red game pieces in order to win the prize. Of course, he was convinced he could find all three. His excitement grew when he found Illinois Avenue. He still doesn't realize that his chances of finding one of the eight Kentucky Avenue pieces is pretty slim. His eye is on the prize.

So...
"Mom, what if you won the $50,000. Would you buy me the LEGO Death Star?"
"Yes, C, if I won the $50,000, I would buy you the LEGO Death Star?"

And later...
"Mom, what if you won $50,000? What would you buy?"
"Well, C, I would buy you the LEGO Death Star. I would take us all to Disney World. And I would make a down payment on a house. Oh, and maybe buy me an iPad."

Even later...
C recounted to Super D that if I won the $50,000, I would buy the LEGO Death Star and a down syndrome on a house. (I think everything after the words LEGO Death Star just sounded like, "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.")

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

No, it's not Christmas. My favorite time of year begins with a trip to the grocery store. I know it's coming when I see displays of Brauch's Candy Corn. No, it's not Halloween. I begin to make frequent trips to the produce section. And yesterday, it arrived!

It's Honeycrisp Apple time!

My family waits all year for these sweet apples. If you haven't tried one, you must. I suggest a little peanut butter with every bite, but the apples are definitely yummy enough to stand alone. Honeycrisps have ruined us for any other variety. If it weren't for the Christmas season, we might all go into depression when we have to settle for Red Delicious.

A Hamster Obituary

Peanut

August 2010 - October 2011

Peanut died peacefully in his sleep early Thursday morning, October 6, 2011. Peanut was a gentle hamster, known as "Tink-Tink" to his family because he liked to prank them in the middle of the night by incessantly ringing his bell. As was common to nocturnal animals, he slept most days and played hard while everyone was trying to sleep. He enjoyed travelling in his ball, rearranging his bedding, and climbing in and out of toilet paper roll tubes. He is survived by his family: Super D, justjennifer, A, and C.

We awoke Thursday morning to find that Peanut had died sometime during the night. He could have been sleeping, had we been able to see the rise and fall of his back; he looked so peaceful. A was very sad. I'm glad she held him Wednesday night. I woke Super D because I figured him to be the only one who would touch Peanut. I woke C, expecting him to be sad, but I didn't expect him to cry so hard. So, we stood in the rain as Super D dug a small hole in the backyard and gently placed in the hole the glasses case which acted as the hamster's coffin. A and Super D said a short prayer. C said he was too sad to go to school.

Call me callous, but I found no sadness in our hamster's death. I knew from the moment A purchased him that his days were numbered. I played with him. I babysat him while A cleaned out his cage. I watched him play. I even took him to school with me so that my class could enjoy him. I enjoyed having him in the house. But I never thought of a hamster as part of our family.

What did break my heart was the look on my son's face when he learned of Peanut's death. I broke down and cried, too. It hurt when C asked to pet him one last time. And I tear up every time his voice shakes as he says how much he misses Peanut. I wish I could spare him from that pain.

Social Studies according to a second grader

According to one of my students, the Judicinal Branch of the government is made up of the Superb Court.

The Crush

This is C's fourth crush. The first was in kindergarten, and she was, perhaps, the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen. She was in C's class and had gorgeous near-black hair that was never out of place. The second was a cute little girl with freckles and a mousy-brown bob cut. She seemed to be a bit of a tomboy, and her mom looked like a biker babe. She was in another class so C admired her from afar. The third was a tall brunette whom Craig claimed was "the most beautiful girl in the second grade." I had thought that another little blond girl was prettier, but C proclaimed that he didn't like "blondies." Apparently, they're not his type.

So he was a little hesitant to reveal his latest (third grade) crush. He and his grandmother have a bet going about the color of his future bride's hair. He swears he won't marry a "blondie." But when he admitted her name, I convinced him that she has beautiful strawberry-blond hair. He's okay with liking a little red-haired girl.

Well, the other day he was talking about how much he likes her, and he said he "like-likes" her. I asked him what that means, and he said he think he actually loves her. He came home telling me that he "said his first sentences to her." Huh? Oh, he talked to her for the first time! I guess Shoulder Buddies are a good conversation starter.

Trending

Last year it was Silly Bandz. This year it's Shoulder Buddies. These cute little relatives of Troll dolls are all the rage at our school. They sit atop your shoulder via a strong magnet placed under your shirt. C pestered me until I bought him one named "Baker." I had planned on getting one for him anyway. But I also came home with one named "Cents" for me!

Sounds like me

Overheard at school:

Daughter: Mommy, will you tie my shoe?
Mom: Sure, honey. Put your foot up here. Mommy's too old to bend over.

Lost lyrics

At the theater last night, I spied this movie poster. I turned to my daughter.

Me: Cut loose.

A: Footloose.

Me: Kick off your Sunday shoes.

A: [inaudible] No weed.

That's right, sweet daughter. This may be your time, but no weed.

Never give up!

I found my flash drive. I washed my flash drive. I dried my flash drive. Twice. And it still works! I'm elated! All of my SMARTBoard lessons open. I checked every page. And I immediately saved every one of them. Twice.

Never again will I place a flash drive in my pocket. (I don't even remember doing it.) I will keep it in the zippered pocket of my purse or my briefcase, but nowhere else. "Backup! Backup! Backup!" is my new motto.