Nightmares

My nightmares usually involve someone chasing me. I know once I am caught, I will die. That's scary.

But I just awoke from a nightmare that was so disturbing that I can't get back to sleep.

I arrived at school early one morning. I had left early the day before because I was sick. When I turned the corner into the 2nd grade pod, I could tell that things were not the way I left them. Someone had removed my students' work from the wall outside my classroom door. For President's Day, my kids had made campaign posters based on a four-square writing activity. Each student had written about qualities that they have which would make them a good president.

I was so proud of their work! They had used fabulous handwriting, corrected their spelling errors before the final draft, and used convincing arguments to get their constituents to vote for them. They had even made paper doll representations of themselves. (This assignment really does currently hang outside my room, and I am very proud of each poster.)

My students' work was now gone, and in its place was work from another 2nd grade class. I was livid. One of my team members had done this to me while I was at home sick! Worse yet, the wall outside her room was blank. How come she didn't use her space? Why did she invade mine? (As is the case in many dreams, things are not quite as they are in real life. This particular teacher is not really on the second grade team, but she is at my school.)

I threw down my purse and briefcase, climbed the ladder which still stood next to the wall, and began removing the other class' work. Despite my anger, I was being gentle with the artwork because I didn't want to destroy it.

A mom of one of my students yelled, "Wait!" She told me that she wasn't finished hanging the work yet. I asked her who had told her to take down the campaign posters. She mentioned the other teacher. I then began yelling at her. I screamed that she had no right to remove my kids' work from the wall. That wall is for my use, not anyone else. I ranted about how I had spent an hour with a hot glue gun, hanging each one with care. Those posters had only been there for two days before she carelessly took them down. I demanded that she put everything back the way I had left it. She had no right to do that to me, especially not was I was home sick.

I stomped into my classroom to plug in the glue gun. When I returned, she had a proud smile on her face and her daughter's campaign poster in her hand. She hadn't realized that she had been removing my students' work. She apologized. She was so sorry. Of course, I felt HORRIBLE for having yelled at her. I never display such anger. She was simply being helpful. And I had been extremely rude. How would she ever forgive me?

It was with this feeling of shame that I awoke. Some nightmare, huh? I guess in my subconscious, shame ranks right up there with fear. My conscience is often disturbed during my waking hours when I feel I have offended someone with my words or actions. I don't feel at peace until I put it right and apologize. I know it was just a dream, but my spirit is disturbed because I hadn't made it right before I woke.