Loser of the World's Greatest Mom Award

Overheard at the zoo:

Mom: "Use your words. Stop whining."
Child: [more whining]
Mom: "Shut up!"

A Little Pride is Appropriate

Yesterday morning Abby and I took time away from school to help Water is Life. The organization's founder, Ken Surritte, contacted me to see if he could borrow Abby for a little while to film her volunteer story for a camera crew that would be taping at his office. The crew was from a show called "Found Causes". I don't know much about it, but when we arrived, they were setting up the cameras to capture footage of the water filter straws being packaged for shipping. Ken told me to grab a t-shirt and jump into the shot, too. Together with another volunteer, we repackaged 1200 straws.

The crew also filmed Ken demonstrating how the straw works. I have lost count as to how many times I have seen Ken drinking toilet water through the straw!

The crew then reset to film the volunteers' stories. Abby was first up. She was fitted with a lapel mic before they checked for sound and color. The chair was too short, so she had to sit atop an uncomfortable box during the interview. Two cameras recorded different angles. The interviewer asked her to describe how she became involved with Water is Life and to tell what type of volunteer work she has done. She told of how she felt when she found out that children were dying from water-bourne diseases. She told of her lemonade stand, the school fundraisers, and gift-wrapping at Barnes & Noble. She was so nervous! But she did great!

They asked me to tell my story, too, and I did. But my story is really just Abby's story. I'm proud of her efforts. I'm proud of her humility. (I can do that as a Mom, right?) I'm proud of her kindness. I'm proud of her goodness. But most of all, I'm proud of her compassion. I pray that God will use these attributes to guide her life.

Tip of the Day

Never eat Indian Tacos at the Arts Festival when the winds are near tornado force.

Clean floors - who knew?

I'm like the Grim Reaper of vacuums. I haven't had one that didn't die in my presence. It's been the running joke of my marriage. (Our very first vacuum burned up and passed away when I sucked a chunk of wood into the hose.)

Last week, I had 4 vacuums under my roof, and not a single one of them worked like it should:

The "Whispertone" canister vacuum that I inherited from my aunt roars like a jet engine and was apparently on its last leg. It has always been my favorite, but I think there was a hole in the tube which kept it from actually working properly.

The Eureka "Boss" needed several passes over the carpet, but it appeared to pick up dirt. Upon closer inspection, it was only picking up the big clumps. But when I broke the belt, I let him go.

The Hoover's attachment works like a dream, making it perfect for detailing the car, but it is worthless for household cleaning.

And the Bissell, well, it just sucks. Or rather, it doesn't suck.

Behold, the almighty new vacuum! (Do you hear the angel choir singing?) May I present the Hoover WindTunnel Max Multicyclonic Bagless Upright Vacuum!

Once assembled, it was the shiniest, prettiest vacuum I have ever seen. Who knew that vacuuming could be so exciting? I couldn't wait to try it out! A single pass down the hallway made it obvious that my army of other vacuums had failed me much worse than I had feared. And when I had finished with the living room, I was utterly disgusted by what I emptied from the canister. I am embarrassed to say that my family has never known clean - until now!

Bets are now being placed in Vegas as to how many rounds Max "the Cyclone" will last in my home.

"Uncle!"

Here I am at Day 135 of second grade, and by the afternoon, I had just had it. What a long week! I couldn't teach another minute today. I decided to play a video for my kids. Not just any video, but an educational one about weather, which was our Science topic this week. I just needed a little peace in my room. No tattling, no blurting, no throwing erasers, no arguing, no 8YO drama, no bellyaches, no interrupting, no farting or armpit noises. Just 28 minutes of peace. A 28-minute ride on the Magic School Bus.

Deep Thoughts

Said C to me while riding in the car: "I wonder if Jesus likes jokes."

Fashion advice

I don't normally wear anything shorter than walking shorts in the summertime because I don't like my thighs, but today I purchased some shorts for the Fun Run we are participating in. I put on all of my running gear to show my children, and this is the response I got:

Me: What do you think?

C: Mom. Those shorts are kinda inappropriate for someone your age.

Me: C, women my age wear shorts this length all the time. I just haven't ever worn them because I don't like the way I look in them.

C: Oh. Well then, you look fine.