The Pick Up Artist

Ah! The joys of sixth-grade boys! The brain has a friend who likes a girl. This friend tasked him with the job of finding pick up lines he could use to impress this girl. Like any diligent student, my son rose to the task and threw himself into the assignment with all of the determination of a dedicated researcher.

Here are his results:

Hey baby, can you send me a picture of yourself so I can tell my mom what I want for my birthday?

Hey baby, I'm doing an assignment on the finer things in life. I was wondering if you wanted an interview. 

Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight or should I back out and rejoin the lobby? [Huh?]

Hey baby, did you eat Lucky Charms for breakfast? Because you sound magically delicious!

Hey baby, is your name Google? Because you're everything I'm searching for.

Hey baby, if you were the new hamburger at McDonald's you could be the McGorgeous!

Hey baby, if you were a grenade you would be a stun grenade.

Hey baby, is your dad a terrorist? Because you da bomb, girl.

Hey girl, I think you have something in your eye. No wait. It's just a sparkle.

Hey girl, my love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.

Hey girl, I lost my teddy bear. Can I cuddle you instead?

Hey girl, is your middle name Broom? Because you swept me off my feet.

Hey girl, did you just fart? Because you blew me away!

[I edited out two which were inappropriate. I'm not sure the Brain realized they were sexual in nature. SuperD may need to address that one.]

Hey girl, my name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime!

Hey girl, do you have a library card? Because I'm checking you out.

Here I am. What are your other two wishes?

Can you feel my shirt? Oh, right. It's made of boyfriend material.

Smooth, Brain. However, you may want to caution your friend against comparing girls to farts and diarrhea. I'm fairly sure that will not have the desired effect.

Ah, if only the Brain would put as much effort into his classroom assignments!