New Year Haiku

keep a cleaner house
be kind to my family
move more and eat less

Resolutions

As 2009 comes to an end, I took a look back at my great attempt to keep a journal. The writer in me came out strong in January, but she went quickly back to her old habits. I think I'm so busy living my life that I just don't want to take the time to write about it.

Or maybe it's just one more website I have to check every day. I already maintain 2 emails and a facebook account, as well as enjoying 2 daily blogs.

If I can't keep my house clean, should I really spend so much time on my computer?

Almost...

My son's friend, X, said to me yesterday,
"So, Craig tells me that you're almost a whole teacher."

Is that my status when I have an education degree, have certification in 3 different areas, but don't have a job yet?

Is it necessary?

My family lived for more than 10 years without cable TV because we didn't have the money to pay for it. Our income was used for things like rent, electricity, food, and insulin. Basically, basic needs. I spent years listening to Super D complain about not being able to watch The History Channel and The Discovery Channel. My children lived for trips to their grandparents' house so they could enjoy The Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. My mom used to tape my favorite cable shows and mail them to me so that I wouldn't miss Monk or Battlestar Galactica.



The fact is: we simply couldn't afford cable TV.



As a responsible individual who is in charge of our family's budget, it is my responsibility to be sure that what little money we earn is used to buy the things we cannot live without. We must have shelter, therefore, I pay the rent. We must have food, so I go grocery shopping. We need clothing for our kids, gasoline for our cars, and electricity and natural gas to cool and heat our home. We cannot live without insulin or water. So, our income is used to purchase these things first.



As a responsible individual with a small budget, I looked for bargains to make my dollar go further. Our family of four lived in a 2-bedroom duplex for 9 years because our rent was only $475/month. We ate a lot of spaghetti and Hamburger Helper because hamburger meat is less expensive than steak. We took hand-me-downs when offered, and I frequented consignment sales because kids outgrow clothes WAY too fast to buy them in the stores. I have only ever owned one brand new car. We used many Buy One Entree, Get One Entree Free coupons we went out on dates. One winter, I even stood outside a department store at 4:00 in the morning because the first 100 people in the door were given a $25 gift card. That gift card bought three Christmas gifts that year.



I'm not cheap. I just know my priorities. My kids would have liked their own bedrooms, but they learned to share. Super D would have liked more TV channels, but he settled for PBS. I would have liked to eat out every week, but we spent the time and money at our dinner table instead.



As responsible as I was, I am embarrassed to say that my diabetic husband went years without visiting a doctor or checking his blood sugar because I just could not stretch our income far enough to afford Blood Glucose Monitor strips. Each strip costs about $1. For a diabetic to check his glucose levels 4 times daily, it would have cost us about $150/month.



If I had been able to come up with an extra $150/month, it would have been irresponsible for me to spend that $150/month on cable TV.



I wish my government could learn to live without cable TV.

She's pretty!

7YO son: Mrs. Kyser's pretty.
Me: What makes her so pretty?
7YO son: Her body.
Me [eyes bulging with a gasp]: Her body?
7YO son: Because if she didn't have a body, she'd be just a head.

Summer vacation

I had forgotten how much fun summer vacation is. I took a break from many of things which placed demands on my life. I feel refreshed. I am ready to face the next school year. If only I could figure out how to keep my house clean when I no longer have hours in a day to do it.

First love

My son told me that when he grows up, he wants to marry a little girl in his class. He has good taste - she is a cutie-patootie! Probably the most beautiful little girl of 5 years old I have ever seen. And, she thinks C is "awesome!"

Of course, the next day he asked if he could marry his sister. I don't really understand how my son's brain works. Maybe his father can try to explain it to me one day.

An Artist

My family went the local arts festival last night. It was a misty evening, and we arrived too late to see many of the booths because they were closing for the evening. But the trip was not wasted. You see, we met an artist whose work A and I are very familiar with. We have seen his signature frequently.



At the beginning of the school year, I proposed an art project to A. I had found a list, called "Edmond Art," in our phone book. There are over 90 statues and murals scattered across our town, and I thought it would be fun to take pictures of all of them. I knew this would also be an exciting way for my children to see and learn about the town where I grew up. As we view each piece of art, we discuss why we like or don't like them, how they make us feel, and which are our favorites. A is keeping a journal of her thoughts. When we have seen them all, we will make a scrapbook with pictures and journaling of our adventure.



Most of the murals in town have Bob Palmer's signature at the bottom. We did not realize at the time that he is an art instructor at the University of Central Oklahoma and has his studio nearby. He has designed murals all over the state and the world. As soon as I saw the art in his booth, I grabbed A and pointed to his signature. A big smile erupted on her face. She met Mr. Palmer, and we told him about our project and how much we liked his work. I don't know who was more excited - her or me!

A new holiday

For Christmas, I gave A a book titled 101 Things You Gotta Do Before You're 12! Some of the "things" include:

1. Go to a demonstration, protest, or rally
2. Join (or start) a club or team
3. Conquer a fear
4. Plan a dream trip
5. Make a time capsule
6. Run (or play) in the mud
7. Give Shakespeare a chance
8. Enter a crazy competition
9. Start a new family tradition
10. Make up a pen name or spy name
11. Meet or correspond with someone famous
12. Make your own...

Number one on the list is: celebrate a holiday you don't usually celebrate. We did some online research, and A decided to celebrate Earth Day this year.

Our family has never really formally recognized Earth Day before. I mean, we do keep all of our plastic Wal-Mart bags, and we either reuse them or we take them to the recycle box in the store. I also bought some of those reuseable shopping bags. The theory was that I would keep them in the back of my van and take them with me into the store each time I shopped for groceries. In order for this to work, one must remember to take the bags back to the van after unloading the groceries. And if the bags actually make it back to the car, one must remember to take them into the store for the big shopping trip. Thus, the large amount of plastic Wal-Mart bags that are accumulating in my laundry room.

So, for Earth Day 2009, the Donwerth family will make the earth better by:

1. Holding fundraisers at our schools to raise money for water filter straws for WaterIsLife.com. One school principal has challenged each classroom to raise money to buy one straw. The other principal is asking each student to bring $1 so that they can wear a hat on a special day. We would like to see 100 lives spared from waterbourne illnesses.
2. Attending Disney's Earth movie. For each ticket purchased during opening week, Disney will plant a tree in the purchaser's honor. We took a friend with us, so 5 trees will be planted because of us.
3. Collecting paper for recycling. We throw away a fair amount of paper, and each of our schools has a paper recycling container in the parking lot. (If we can find out where to recycle plastic, we can save empty 2-liter bottles, too.)

It's not much, but it's a start. I think the next step will be to conserve electricity and water. But that may take until Earth Day 2010 to master!

The snitch

Mom: "How much do I owe you for the T-ball shirt and hat?"
Coach: "Twenty dollars. You can get it to me later."
Mom: "I'll bring you cash after my husband's payday."
Son: "Yeah, my mom doesn't have much money."
Coach [smiling]: "None of us do these days."

Water Is Life

I'm so proud of A! She spent the better part of 2 days, selling lemonade during her grandmother's garage sale. She raised $90 for http://www.waterislife.com/. With the money she raised, Hearts and Hands International can buy 9 water filter straws for children in Kenya. That's 9 kids who won't die from water-bourne illnesses because of her! Wow! And she was disappointed because she didn't reach her goal of 20 straws. We're going to try to find other ways to raise money this year to help her reach her goal, but I'm still proud!

Sick day

My son threw up after school today. I knew he was sick at lunch. It's odd how a mom can tell her child is sick just by looking at him. His face was flushed, his head hung low, his shoulders were drooped, he shuffled his feet. No fever, no cough, no rash. But he just wasn't acting normal. It was confirmed at the lunch table when he didn't eat his Cheetos. That NEVER happens! But he wanted to go to school. I warned his teacher and told him that I would take him home if he started to feel worse. He made it through the day, but didn't make it down the hall to me. In fact, he didn't make it to a toilet or even a trash can. While waiting for me, he upchucked all over the couch, his pants, his coat, his sister, and her back pack.

Now he's napping, which NEVER happens.

When I leave my little diabetic with a new caregiver, I explain to them about what his low blood glucose level looks like. I describe his low behavior in detail, and say, "Don't worry - you'll know. His whole behavior changes. My little spaz will slow down." And they get it when they see it. So totally obvious. You just know. The blood sugar monitor just tells you how low it really is. It's just like when your own child gets sick. You just know.

Except in the case of an ear infection, which always went untreated in our household because my kids never once complained of pain!

Bad children or bad parents?

People often tell me they couldn't do my job. They say it takes a special kind of person to work with special needs children. I used to think that, too. That is, until I accepted my job. Teachers and teacher assistants have it easy - they send the kids home to the parents every day. I go home to my normally developing children.



It's the parents who have the tough job. I admire those who do their job well. They're angels. I am ecstatic that others even try.

Food Snob

My husband thinks he's Gordon Ramsay. He must have seen every season of Hell's Kitchen. He has probably watched every episode of Kitchen Nightmares, both the U.S. and the U.K. versions. He rarely reads books, but he just finished Chef Ramsay's autobiography. He has been experimenting with food in the kitchen, making entrees without recipes. (I must admit here that he usually scores. Only once in 15 years has he made something entirely inedible.)

But an ordinary family breakfast at Denny's turned him into a food critic. Once served, Super D picked up a bit of his scrambled eggs and wiggled them back and forth to show me how rubbery they were. I told him that if he had wanted good eggs, he shouldn't have ordered them scrambled. And I scooped up a bite of my eggs, over medium. As I was enjoying my bacon, he held his fork aloft, waiting for me to try a sample of his biscuits and gravy. Not really knowing what he wanted me to say, I simply nodded my head with a smile and said, "Hmm." He replied with a look of scorn, "A mix." Even our daughter's link sausage failed to pass muster. His word for it was "frozen." Of course, he prefers sausage patties to sausage links. (Oddly enough, the best sausage I think he has probably ever had came from my mother's freezer. My brother procured it from a pig farm.)

It should be noted that my husband did not walk away from the restaurant hungry. I believe Super D ate everything on this plate. I should probably consider myself lucky that Chef Husband didn't send it all back to the kitchen, yelling obsenities at the kitchen manager about how horrible the whole experience was. Although Ramsay-wannabe would have had to stand in the cold in order to speak with him - the manager was just outside the front door, smoking his cigarette.

Maybe my pallette isn't as refined as my husband's, but I rather enjoyed my breakfast. If only because I didn't have to cook it.

My genius

I just have to brag a bit. "A" brought home her progress report today, and she has a 100% in Science and 99% in Social Studies! Two of my least favorite subjects! I have always said that she is just like me, but not in this arena!

I pledge...

to use a kinder voice with my family so that my children will learn to be kind to others.

I pledge to support Hearts and Hands International's Water is Life program, so that children around the world will have the clean water needed to sustain their lives and the Living Water needed to give them eternal life.

I pledge to follow the actions of my President by regularly reading the White House website. I pledge to be an informed citizen. I pledge to make my voice heard when my government does not speak for me, and I pledge to applaud when it does.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgnAz7A_i0s

What do you pledge?

Friday Nights

My grandfather used to call my brother and me every Friday and say, "Is it Friday yet?" This was code for, "Can you come over to spend the night?"

Friday nights at my grandparents house are one of my fondest childhood memories. As I age, I don't remember specifically what we did as much as I just remember being with them. I do remember playing games like Flinch and Wahoo. (I'm so old that these games are now known as Skip-bo and Aggravation.) The computer was a novelty, and my brother and I spent hours playing M.U.L.E. I remember my grandparents watching Mystery! and Masterpiece Theater on PBS and wondering how they could stand to watch something so boring. I mean, in my mind, the only public television worth watching aired in the mornings. (I now LOVE both Mystery! and Masterpiece: Prime Suspect, the Linley Mysteries, Agatha Christie, Poirot, Jane Austen.) And Hee Haw . . . well, don't get me started! That was just pure torture!

Saturday mornings, Grandfather made breakfast, which usually consisted of either waffles or pancakes. These were not your average, boring breakfasts. They always had a "surprise" inside - nuts, chocolate chips, blueberries, or bananas.

In the spring, we had to help in the garden, which I absolutely dreaded. In the summer, we would play in the sprinkler to keep cool (no swimsuit required - just underwear). In the fall, we would attend Bulldog football games. And in the winter, we would always have a roaring fire in the fireplace.

TGIF was reality for me because I waited all week for these overnight visits. Now I realize that my parents probably enjoyed them more than we did. They had a standing Friday night date!

My precious angel

Baby A

Okay, so this is how I will always remember my little angel,

despite the big teenage demon she may become in just a few short years.

A Barnes & Noble aside

While at work Sunday night, as I rounded the corner by the Science Fiction books, I overheard a father speaking to his 4-year-old son. The child had a paperback in his hands and was listening intently to his dad.

" . . . then after they defeated the republic, they started a Jedi academy . . . "

The circus is in town

I love the circus. The clowns, the animals, the costumes, the lights, the music, the acrobatics, the hooplah. No matter my age, the circus is a wonder. It leaves me on a high for days. The memories remain for a lifetime. Every time the circus comes to town, I want to see it again. To experience the magic once more. See different clowns, different animals, different costumes, different lights, different music, different acrobatics, different hooplah.

I like that the circus is only two hours long. I wouldn't go if I had to listen to two weeks of "Entrance of the Gladiators".

Well, the media circus is back in town. The clowns are funnier. Animals perform different tricks. The costumes are glitzier. The lights are brighter. They've added more music. The acrobats no longer have a net. But the hooplah . . . it's just too much. It's been one week already, and yet the ringmaster still hasn't begun with "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages..." We're still watching the pre-circus. And after the real circus is over, there will be another week of post-circus. I don't think I can't stand it. And yet I can't seem to escape it. If I hear that big top music one more time, I think I will scream!

I went to the last two circuses. I didn't want to miss them. All my friends were going. But I skipped the pre-circus and the post-circus. I really didn't need someone to tell me what I was going to see and then analyze every flip, roar, and laugh after it was over. I have a circus program for that.

I like the circus. Really, I do. So, tomorrow, I hope I make it to my seat just in time to hear the ringmaster say, "I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States." That is the best part. The historic event. The center ring.

Hormones or just a bad attitude?

Does puberty begin at 11 now? I can't quite figure out if my almost-11YO, A, has new hormones coursing through her body or has picked up her lousy attitude from her environment. Could it be public school or television shows?

Either way, she is morphing into something I don't like. Decisions she doesn't like are met with eyes rolling or a "But...!" She gets angry about things which are beyond her control and crosses her arms in a huff.

Sound normal? Not for my little angel. No, really. She has always been good-natured, kind, helpful, happy, and mild-mannered. She rarely suffers consequences because she rarely chooses wrong. The only exception being how she acts and speaks to her brother, so she does get into trouble for that. But then, he annoys the crap out of her.

Cold

I loathe the cold. How can anyone live in weather like this and be happy? It is miserable. Through the years, I have become more warm natured, but once cold, I cannot warm up. I get chilled to the bone. No matter how many layers of clothes I wear on the outside, my internal organs will just not warm up.

I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want to do anything. I want to sit on my couch, fire crackling in the fireplace, with my hot chocolate and a quilt. I want to watch movies and read books. Who, in their right mind, wants to open the front door and step onto the porch to face the wind, which puts even more of a chill in the air? Even my car complains about moving from the driveway.

And, even worse, this will be any inside day at school.

Rewriting the hymnal

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.
—Edward Mote (1797-1874)

"Mommy, what's STINKING sand?"
-C, my son

Loss of a friend

A friend of mine died. I haven't seen her in over 6 years. We knew each other from the softball field. Every spring, we played together for an hour a week.

I didn't even know she was sick. Some friend, huh? And, yet, when I was sad, my husband (Super D) couldn't figure out why. I guess men don't develop or maintain bonds like women do. We could go a lifetime without seeing a friend and still show emotion at the news of their marriage, birth of a child, or death.

So now, if I want to the go to the memorial service, will he think I am crazy? Probably.

A Sooner loss

I'm less upset that the Sooners lost the championship, than I am about staying up late to see them lose. My sleep is much more precious to me.

I can't believe I let my children stay up for that! My daughter will be wasted today at school. Fortunately, my son can skip daycare this morning as he and his dad sleep in on David's day off. Is there a loser mom trophy?

Uneventful

Is my life that boring that I have absolutely nothing to say in a blog?

Actually, work is fascinating, but confidentiality keeps me from being able to discuss it in detail. I'll just say that my work is fulfilling, yet frustrating at the same time. My heart aches for these kids. I long to help them. But rules hinder us from doing the very things I think will help them.

I am reminded of Helen Keller. Anne Sullivan's methods seemed foreign and even harsh to Helen's parents, but Anne loved that girl and wanted her to learn. It took only one month of doing things Anne's way before Helen's behavior began to change and her progress took off.

What progress would occur if we were allowed to really help our kids?

Sleepy

I don't remember the alarm going off the first time. Or the second. By the time my brain woke up, my only two choices were - exercise or shower. No time for both.

Done. Decision made. The world can thank me later. When they wake up.

Minutes later...

Mission accomplished! Although my legs were protesting just two minutes into my workout. Is that pathetic, or what?

To walk, or not to walk...

I'm up. I love mornings, but I hate wasting even a part of them on exercise.

My inner voice debates itself. "You don't have to do this today." "We said we would walk." "But why today? How about tomorrow?" "You're up anyway. Why not today?"

The guilt will triumph today. That hot chocolate I just drank is laughing at me.

Resolutions

I'm blogging. I'm FLYing. Yesterday I rode bikes with A. Tomorrow begins the real exercise. I won't be so ambitious to think that I can do aerobics. I think I will begin with a walking routine. Harmless enough.

Irony

Irony is remembering to blog when you have nothing interesting to say.

So instead of text, here's a picture to enjoy:

C the Cowboy

Happy New Year

I resolve to maintain a blog.

I always wanted to keep a journal. In fact I kept many. All of them are unfinished. Writing doesn't come easily, and I don't remember to do it.

Maybe this will be my year.

I will keep it short - no long commentaries. Anecdotes of my children. Random thoughts. Notable events. Favorite pictures.

I am afraid of failure.