Disobedience

One giant problem with our society is that often there are little to no consequences for our negative behavior. I keep referring back to the beginning of our nation when Captain John Smith led the colonists. Our early ancestors nearly failed their attempt at a colony until Captain Smith instituted rigid discipline and a policy which stated "He who does not work, will not eat." There was a consequence for laziness in Jamestown. Of course, everyone wanted to eat. As a result, the settlement survived and grew under his leadership.

I want my children to know that when they make bad choices, consequences will follow. Sometimes those consequences are natural. For example, if you fly a kite too near a tree, then the kite will get stuck, and you can no longer play with it. Bummer. But sometimes, parents have to set consequences for when their children break the rules. As a parent, finding an appropriate consequence is often a challenge. And if the consequence doesn't strike a nerve, then the child won't be deterred from the same behavior in the future.

I know what does it for my son. Today while we were out shopping, C was climbing and lying all over the dressing room furniture. I told him nicely to sit in one spot. And I told him again. And I told him again. And I told him again. Each time, using different wording to make sure he understood me. There was no doubt he knew what was expected of him. So when he disobeyed me for the 4th time, I told him that he could not play outside with the little boy across the street. And so began the begging. He begged for a "second" chance, not realizing that he had failed his second, third, and fourth chances. He begged for me to ground him from the game machines, TV, and computer. He cried so hard that I was afraid he might hyperventilate. My heart hurt. It was torture to stick to my word.

But my son deserves consistent parenting. He needs parents who will teach him right and wrong. And he needs parents who will hug him when he cries because he doesn't like the consequences.