The Diabetes Games

I took C to a new endocronologist yesterday. I like him. Unlike our previous doctor, I believe he will provide us with quality health care. Before we left the office, he gave us five contact numbers: office, home, pager, cell, and wife's cell. He told us that any time we have concerns about C's health, we should call him. Wow.

The doc also challenged us to play in The Diabetes Games. This is a system he invented to interest children in becoming involved in their own diabetes care. He claims that if I don't get C actively involved now, and give him some incentive to work at it, then getting him to manage his own disease in his teens will be a real struggle.

Part One of the Games is the Over/Under Game. C earns a point each time he tests his blood glucose (BG) level before a meal or snack. That's 5 points per day just for checking his BG. Then, if his BG is in his target range (70-150), he earns another point, for a total of up to 10 points per day. At the end of the day, Super D and I settle up with him and pay him up to $1.00, depending on how well he managed his diabetes during that day. As C ages, we can pay more, which will probably equate to gas money when he is old enough to drive.

Part Two of the Games is the 100 Game. Each time his BG hits his target (100), he gets a Bonus prize. We haven't decided yet on the prize, but it can be a game download for his iPod Touch, a new book, or a new toy. Maybe we will give him a choice between the three.

Part Three of the Games is the 7% Game. Every time we visit the endocronologist, they take a sample of C's blood and test his HbA1c. This test measures his BG control over the past 2-3 months by measuring the percentage of glycosylated hemoglobin, or HbA1c, in the blood. (I don't get it either.) The American Diabetes Association (ADA) recommends a level of 7% or below, while other health care professionals recommend less than 6.5%. Yesterday, C's A1c was 8.8%. Our doc has promised that when C's A1c results are less than 7%, he will give C $20! You should have seen C's eyes pop out of his head when he heard that.

We are on day 2 of The Diabetes Games. So far, C has raked in 80 cents. The doc changed some of the settings on the insulin pump, so it may take a few days for his BG to level out to normal levels, but C has been eager to test and disappointed when his BG is too high. Before yesterday, he didn't show any care about testing or good levels. The doc talked with C about diabetes management being C's job, and if he does his job, he gets paid. I think the doc is right; this may work yet! We just had to find the right motivator - money!

Tradition

I am fascinated by holiday traditions. This year, I enjoyed reading about my friends' Christmas traditions as they posted on facebook. One family hops in the car on Christmas Eve in their jammies and goes out to look at Christmas lights. Another family reads by candlelight the story of Jesus' birth. Some families open one present the night before Christmas. Others get new Christmas pajamas.

For as long as I can remember, my mom has served the same Christmas breakfast. I think she learned the recipe from a high school Home Ec teacher. On Christmas Eve, she prepares a Pillsbury hot roll mix and lets the dough rise. Instead of shaping it into hot rolls, she rolls it out with butter, cinnamon, sugar, and pecans and fashions it into the shape of a Christmas tree. She bakes it that night and leaves it for Christmas morning.

After all of the presents have been unwrapped, she quietly slips into the kitchen to reheat the tree, and she "decorates" it with green icing and sprinkles. In previous years, the tree has also contained raisins and been ornamented with candied cherries, but since most of us don't like either ingredient, they have been omitted. The tree is then served on Waechtersbach Christmas pottery with orange juice, coffee, or homemade hot chocolate. Leftovers don't usually survive to lunchtime.

Considering that some years she has made more than one cinnamon roll Christmas tree, I would guess that my mom has made well over 50 of them through the years. I have made a few of my own, too. I love sharing it with my coworkers and friends. And I plan to pass on this family tradition to my children.

My mom and the 2011 tree

2009 tree (We didn't have any candy sprinkles that year.)

I got a hippopotamus for Christmas!

Only a hippopotamus would do!

No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses!

I only like hippopotamuseses!

And hippopotamuses like me, too!

The stocking were hung . . .

We had no trouble getting C to bed tonight. He told me that despite what everyone thinks, Santa does not visit our house at midnight. He said there was no point in waiting up for Santa because Santa comes sometime between 12 and 2. C knows this because last year, he checked the living room at midnight, and there were no presents. He went back to sleep, and when he awoke at 2 a.m., the presents had arrived. I guess he knew he couldn't stay awake that long, so he just went straight to bed at his regular bedtime.

The Grinch who almost stole Christmas

My mom bought herself a Christmas gift - a new T.V. She purchased it online and expected it to be delivered a day or two before Christmas. It was delivered early. Normally, this would be an occasion for a happy dance, but on this particular day, Mom wasn't home.

Most people would not be able to see a box at her door if they're just driving by. Mom shares a short street with about 23 other families in a dozen duplex homes. Her door doesn't face the street and sits in a small alcove, so you would have to walk up in her yard to really get a good look at her entryway. But when the FedEx man pulled up to her door and delivered a large box marked "T.V.", I guess some of those families were bound to notice.

Mom doesn't know many of her neighbors, but she has spoken with a few of them. One man, who lives across the street, is, at first glance, a nuisance. I have noticed him on several occasions making lots of noise in his garage late at night. It's not the sweet sounds of the Whos down in Whoville, but we do hear loud music and, sometimes, power tools. Fortunately, I don't think Mom can hear the din from inside her house, so I haven't made a big deal of it. But Mom met the Who neighbor, has spoken to him on several occasions, and has said he is very nice. I wasn't sure I believed her. Well, not until yesterday.

You see, he was one of the neighbors who noticed the FedEx truck. And he noticed that another neighbor, a Grinch, had seen it, too. When Mom returned home yesterday, Neighbor Who came to her door and told her that he had her T.V. in his living room. He said the Grinch had walked past her house several times, looking toward her front door. Mr. Who knows that the Grinch is a thief. So, Mr. Who saved Mom's T.V. from the Grinch, who had already backed his truck into the driveway next door. Mr. Who brought Mom's new T.V. back to her.

While I'm a little mad that FedEx would deliver such an expensive package without a signature, I am overjoyed that there are people in this Grinchy world who still do good deeds. They have a heart for others. They look out for their neighbors. They care. I'm especially glad that one such Who lived across the street from my mom. Maybe we need to watch a little Dr. Seuss on her new T.V. this Christmas.

I'll never be a Martha.

I've never been that mom who makes a fruit bouquet. Or the mom who makes cute little brownie bites that look like Santa hats. I'm not even the mom who makes homemade cookies. I'm the mom who makes a side trip to Walmart on the way to school to grab a bag of Chips Ahoy! cookies for the class party.

I want to be that Martha Stewart mom. I want everyone to "Ooh" and "Ahh" as I take the lid off the cupcake holder to reveal snowman cupcakes wearing earmuffs. That's why, as I was pouring myself a bowl of Rice Krispies, I decided to release my inner Martha. The picture on the back of the box was of the cutest little Tree Trimmer Treats.

I've made Rice Krispies Treats before. Surely I can make these adorable edible ornaments. How hard could it be? Snap, Crackle, and Pop and even the plain M&M guy seemed to be cheering me on. "You can do it. You can do it. You can do it."

I had no idea how hard it was going to be to find the Christmas M&M's at the SuperCenter or that I would have to make an additional stop at the 7-Eleven to find cherry Twizzler ropes. If that wasn't bad enough, I almost gave up on Step 1: Fold each licorice piece in half and push ends through centers of marshmallows. "No problem," I thought. "I've got this." After all, I took Home Ec. I can read and follow directions.

For future reference, licorice rope ends don't push through the centers of marshmallows. Not without a few marshmallow deaths. But I was determined. I made a slight design change, and, thirty minutes later, I had a small arsenal of marshmallow/licorice nooses.

Since I've made Rice Krispies Treats before, I know that once you add the cereal, you have to work fast. Otherwise, the Treats begin to set up. The key to these ornament Treats is that you must use "buttered hands". Eeww. So I shaped the Rice Krispies into little round ornaments and let them cool. The next step was to decorate with frosting and M&M's.

Obviously, this didn't turn out the way Snap, Crackle, and Pop's did. This is when I was within seconds of calling it quits. I was ready to concede that I am, indeed, not a Martha. I have no business in the kitchen. I can't even get a stupid red M&M to stick to a Rice Krispie ball.

But when I thought of my 20 adorable 2nd graders who will be celebrating Winter Break tomorrow, I knew I couldn't show up empty-handed. Forget the picture on the box. The kids don't know how cute that Treat is. They just want sugar. So, I made another design change and carried on.

My ornaments don't have hangers, but they have marshmallows and frosting, which is all the kids care about anyway.

I'll never be a Martha. I'm okay with that. Super D says I make the best carrot cake ever. I'll just hold on to that.

"God sure is smart!"

Super D and I went to the health food store. Don't get me wrong, we don't usually shop there. I just have to buy special shampoo and conditioner that is fragrance-free, and the health food store happens to carry it. But since we were there, we walked up and down the aisles to see what kinds of crazy things they sell.

Super D pointed out this cereal:
Strange name for a cereal, right? We almost passed it by, but my curiosity got the best of me. Who would name a cereal after a Bible verse, and what did the verse have to do with cereal?

Here is how the side of the box reads:

Ezekiel 4:9 Sprouted Grain Cereal is inspired by the Holy Scripture verse: "Take also unto thee Wheat and Barley and Beans and Lentils and Millet and Spelt and put them in one vessel and make bread of it..." We discovered when these six grains and legumes are sprouted and combined, an amazing thing happens. A complete protein is created that closely parallels the protein found in milk and eggs. In fact, the protein quality is so high, that it is 84.3% as efficient as the highest recognized source of protein, containing all 9 essential amino acids. Plus, there are 18 amino acids present in this unique cereal - from all vegetable sources!

So there we were, Super D and me, standing in the middle of the health food store, grinning from ear to ear, with tears in our eyes, in awe that modern science has proved that such an ancient combination of foods would produce such a super-food. Super D said, "God sure is smart!"

And how does it taste, you ask? Super D suspected it might taste like cardboard, but it isn't too bad. I wouldn't eat it by itself, but with milk and fruit, it just might do.

The Fashion-Challenged

C often dresses himself like this. He has no sense that two plaids don't work together. When he came out of his room with this ensemble on, I just said, "No." He tried again. Note the aqua shoes in the second attempt. Some battles simply aren't worth fighting.

Say what?

C asked to watch TV. He said he wanted to watch "The Kinga Dyson Amir".

Need a clue?

I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh" and had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought nah, forget it, yo homes to Bel-air!

Plural nouns

C read it somewhere, but you should know that the plural of "rabbit" is "rabbi". (It's the same rule that is used for hippopotamus.)

Rudolph, the red-nosed teacher

Tonight we had our faculty Christmas party, so we all wore festive Christmas attire. After last year's ugly sweater theme, I decided to go tacky and wear every Christmas item I could find. Between my small stash and my mom's closet, I put together this lovely ensemble. It included blinking antlers, a candy cane turtleneck, embroidered sweater, two necklaces, three jingling bracelets, two curly elf shoes, and a flashing red Rudolph nose. We all displayed our Christmas cheer throughout the school day and even paraded across the stage during our assembly. The looks on my kids' faces was well worth the humiliation brought on by my blinking nose!

Merry Christmas!

Presenting the Great C-ini

My magician son performed magic tonight. I don't know if it was a success or an epic fail. When I arrived home from my book club meeting, he informed me that he had done something really bad and was afraid I would be mad at him. He said he tried to do a magic trick with a penny, but he accidentally swallowed it. Oops. I still can't figure out how a 9YO boy can accidentally swallow a penny. The nurse said that since he was able to swallow, the penny probably was already in his stomach and would pass through his intestines in the next few days. Super D suggested that C inspect his poops to see if it has a "cent". I told C that it was a fantastic trick because he made the penny disappear!

FREE Holiday Fun

Tonight I surprised the family and took them into the city for a ride on a riverboat. They are giving FREE water taxi rides every evening through Christmas. We have always wanted to take this tour, and tonight, the price was just right. It was cold, but we had a great time. As a special surprise to all of us, they served cookies and hot chocolate at the end of the tour!

The walk along the river is beautifully decorated.

Super D and me

A and C

Best. Carrot cake. EVER!

No points for presentation, but a 10 for flavor!

Every year, I make Super D's favorite cake for his birthday. I only make it once a year so it is hard to perfect it. Almost every year the cake sticks to the pan, and I have to scrape the cake out in pieces. The first layer was so bad this year that Super D joked about just scooping it into a large bowl and covering it with frosting. Fortunately, the second layer made it out almost intact, so I pieced together the bottom layer and held it together with frosting. Although it looked hideous on the plate, it was indeed the best carrot cake I have ever made. Light! Moist! Creamy! De-licious!

Birthday suggestions

When I gave no hints as to what I want for my 40th birthday (Wow, it seems so old when I type it!) Super D began making suggestions.

"Clothing? Accessories? Something monogrammed? A purse? Underwear?"

And A jumped in with, "Monogrammed underwear?"

Dr. Mom

I may be a worrier, but I'm not when it comes to my children being sick. I assess the symptoms and deal with illness efficiently. Well, that's what I think anyway. I'm sure that I must have let it go to my head when our pediatrician told me I should study nursing because I knew so much already. (Big head alert!)

Super D is my nemesis in situations of childhood illness. Either of our children gets the slightest sniffle, and he wants to rush them to the doctor. He thinks I don't worry enough.

So today, I channeled my inner Super D and took our son to the doctor. He had gone to the school office, complaining of being able to taste blood in the back of his throat, and he said his chin itched. He had no other symptoms, but the look on his face told me all I needed to know. Because of multiple cases of strep throat at our school, I called the doctor and scheduled an appointment. I mean, tasting blood in the back of his throat didn't sound so normal to me.

The 5-minute test was negative, but the doc said his throat was really red with lots of pus. (Pus. Eww.) She said she didn't believe the test. Apparently, they get lots of false negatives - in 20% of the test results, she said. We could wait around two days to send it off to a lab for further testing, but with the pus and all (Eww.) she called it strep and prescribed an antibiotic.

So, in a way, Super D saved the day in this case.

A Super Date with Super D

Super D and I bought our family two season tickets to the Broadway season at our local theater. I went to the first show, Peter Pan, with A. Tonight it was my turn to go to the theater with my honey. It was his suggestion that we dress for the theater, so he looked pretty spiffy in his suit. The show was Memphis. We knew absolutely nothing about the musical, but we were excited nonetheless.

Super D was shocked by how bad our seats are, but when you buy the cheapest tickets, you get the seats in the very back. And I mean VERY back. There are only two rows behind us. I don't mind - I am so excited that we have season tickets, I don't even care. It's not any worse than the seats we had when we went to the circus. (The pooper-scooper barrels were on the floor below our seats!)

It was me. I let the dogs out.

This is my new favorite internet photo. Love it! It makes me giggle!

Epic Fail

Ever since a friend introduced me to the concept of laundry nirvana, I have been obsessed with it. If only every bit of fabric in my house was clean at the same time! I finally had a long weekend, due to a day off from school because of parent teacher conferences, and I determined to attempt it. I figure I completed approximately 22 loads of laundry throughout the weekend. I washed, dried, and folded inbetween spending time with my family, watching movies, doing schoolwork, and watching TV. We even ventured out of the house several times; all the while my laundry was spinning back at home.

At 11:00 p.m. Sunday evening, my excitement began to grow as I took the last load from the washer and placed it in the dryer. Had I finally done it? Everything was finally clean! But, no, I had forgotten to throw 3 tea towels in with the final load.

One trend I'll never do

I'm not a fan of the hair bump. I couldn't tell you why - until today.

I bumped my hair as a joke for Super D. He thinks the hair bump is silly, too.

Once bumped, my hair reminded me of something, but I couldn't figure out what.

David figured it out:

I think I may have my Halloween costume for next year!

You know you're getting old when . . .

. . . you crank up the car radio to sing "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'" at the top of your lungs, comment that the song is from Top Gun, and your teenage daughter says, "What's Top Gun?"

Mr. President

C gave his JFK book report Friday. Our school district doesn't allow kids to dress for Halloween, but C's class does a Biography report that is due at the end of October, and the kids can dress up as their subject.

When C chose his subject, I asked why he picked JFK. (Frankly, I thought it made for a pretty boring costume in comparison.) He told me that other kids were choosing people like George Washington and Albert Einstein. "Mom, I just didn't want fuzzy hair!"

Batman vs. the Bee

I've seen a few commercials on TV recently that cause me to furrow my eyebrows and ask, "Who is running their marketing department anyway?" Granted, I am more than a little on the conservative side; some might even use the adjective "prudish". But their ads are having an adverse reaction on me. Maybe they don't want parents to buy their products. Maybe I'm not the target audience.

But I'm proud of my son for recognizing a company's lack of morals. A little boy dressed like Batman for Halloween approaches a house where he finds a bowl of candy with a sign which reads "Please just take one." He puts a piece of candy in his bag and contemplates taking another one. Just as he decides to do the right thing and only take one, an adorable little girl in a bee costume arrives. With her pigtails bouncing, she grabs a fistful of candy and shoves it in her pumpkin container. Batman points out that the sign says to only take one, and she replies, "I can't read." And the little thief walks away as she rolls her eyes.

And C's comment? "That's wrong." Without any prompting from us, he knew that wasn't the right thing to do. I do worry that as our society makes light of lying, stealing, and cheating, most children won't see a clear line between right and wrong. Like the little Bee, they will think the children with morals are the dupes.

Crazy Hair Day

It's Red Ribbon Week!

Aerated milk chocolate? Really?

Why do I need air in my chocolate? Is this a new diet trend? Are you really going to try to sell me less chocolate for the same price? Does anyone really fall for this? I wasn't born yesterday. If I eat chocolate filled with anything, it won't be air; it'll be caramel. Yum!

Who is Riffin?

Another family favorite sign:

(I think they forgot about the Gs.)

Love my new iPhone!

We upgraded all of our phones. A and I got the iPhone 4, and SuperD got the 3G. His was FREE! I love free! So This is my first blog from my phone. Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3 . . .

Internal Clock

Having an internal clock comes in handy most of the time. I rarely oversleep. I don't have to worry about being late to work. I typically awaken at the same time every day unless I I stayed up really late, like when A and I go to a Harry Potter premier.

On days like today, I'd like to throw my internal clock across the room and smash it against the wall. It's the first day of Fall Break, and I'm up at 6 o'clock. Most teachers are sleeping in. I guess instead of sleeping late, I get to take a nap today.

Meet Lady

Her full name is Milady Clarick de Winter. She is named after a character in Alexandre Dumas' The Three Musketeers. She received her name when we brought her home and she tried to commit suicide by leaping from the PetCo box to the kitchen floor. Fortunately, she was simply stunned. (Technically, Milady de Winter didn't commit suicide in the book, but no one in my family knows any story other than the movie version.)

Lady is a Roborovski hamster, or robo-hamster to us. They are the smallest of the hamster varieties and apparently extremely skittish and fast. Unlike Peanut, she doesn't like to be touched, but she is more active than Peanut and more fun to watch. If I ever do get to hold her, she is supposed to be hypoallergenic. She seems to be getting used to me, since she lets me touch her a little. Her favorite activity is running on her wheel, as the wheel squeaks all night long.

Cake Wreck

This could be the ugliest cake ever. But C is mighty proud of it. He won it at a Cake Walk at our school's Family Fun Night. It was a little naked when we got it home, and he wanted me to write "Family Get-Together" on it for when my mom came over for dinner. All I had was a pastel green frosting. I blobbed the green all over it to cover up the holes in the original icing from where the lid messed it up. It just got worse and worse. But would you look at the smile on sweet son's face?

Heelys Horror

This is what is left of C's elbow after the Heelys crash. This picture actually makes it look good. It looks more like he had an accident with a cheese grater. I guess he will have to wear elbow and knee pads anytime he wears his beloved shoes. I was so excited about the great deal I got on them, and now I despise them. He never stops skating. I have had to ban them both at school and at church. He got in trouble at the zoo for skating on the sidewalk. He rolls up and down the aisles of the grocery store. His favorite place to wear them is at the mall. I just know we're going to get kicked out one of these days!

What if...?

My son is forever asking "What if..." questions. It drives me crazy. His latest obsession has sparked a ton of "What if..." questions: McDonald's Monopoly. One of the game pieces he pulled from his Hash Brown was Indiana Avenue. He was SO excited! He thought he had won $50,000! I nearly broke his heart when I explained that he had to collect all three red game pieces in order to win the prize. Of course, he was convinced he could find all three. His excitement grew when he found Illinois Avenue. He still doesn't realize that his chances of finding one of the eight Kentucky Avenue pieces is pretty slim. His eye is on the prize.

So...
"Mom, what if you won the $50,000. Would you buy me the LEGO Death Star?"
"Yes, C, if I won the $50,000, I would buy you the LEGO Death Star?"

And later...
"Mom, what if you won $50,000? What would you buy?"
"Well, C, I would buy you the LEGO Death Star. I would take us all to Disney World. And I would make a down payment on a house. Oh, and maybe buy me an iPad."

Even later...
C recounted to Super D that if I won the $50,000, I would buy the LEGO Death Star and a down syndrome on a house. (I think everything after the words LEGO Death Star just sounded like, "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.")

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

No, it's not Christmas. My favorite time of year begins with a trip to the grocery store. I know it's coming when I see displays of Brauch's Candy Corn. No, it's not Halloween. I begin to make frequent trips to the produce section. And yesterday, it arrived!

It's Honeycrisp Apple time!

My family waits all year for these sweet apples. If you haven't tried one, you must. I suggest a little peanut butter with every bite, but the apples are definitely yummy enough to stand alone. Honeycrisps have ruined us for any other variety. If it weren't for the Christmas season, we might all go into depression when we have to settle for Red Delicious.

A Hamster Obituary

Peanut

August 2010 - October 2011

Peanut died peacefully in his sleep early Thursday morning, October 6, 2011. Peanut was a gentle hamster, known as "Tink-Tink" to his family because he liked to prank them in the middle of the night by incessantly ringing his bell. As was common to nocturnal animals, he slept most days and played hard while everyone was trying to sleep. He enjoyed travelling in his ball, rearranging his bedding, and climbing in and out of toilet paper roll tubes. He is survived by his family: Super D, justjennifer, A, and C.

We awoke Thursday morning to find that Peanut had died sometime during the night. He could have been sleeping, had we been able to see the rise and fall of his back; he looked so peaceful. A was very sad. I'm glad she held him Wednesday night. I woke Super D because I figured him to be the only one who would touch Peanut. I woke C, expecting him to be sad, but I didn't expect him to cry so hard. So, we stood in the rain as Super D dug a small hole in the backyard and gently placed in the hole the glasses case which acted as the hamster's coffin. A and Super D said a short prayer. C said he was too sad to go to school.

Call me callous, but I found no sadness in our hamster's death. I knew from the moment A purchased him that his days were numbered. I played with him. I babysat him while A cleaned out his cage. I watched him play. I even took him to school with me so that my class could enjoy him. I enjoyed having him in the house. But I never thought of a hamster as part of our family.

What did break my heart was the look on my son's face when he learned of Peanut's death. I broke down and cried, too. It hurt when C asked to pet him one last time. And I tear up every time his voice shakes as he says how much he misses Peanut. I wish I could spare him from that pain.

Social Studies according to a second grader

According to one of my students, the Judicinal Branch of the government is made up of the Superb Court.

The Crush

This is C's fourth crush. The first was in kindergarten, and she was, perhaps, the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen. She was in C's class and had gorgeous near-black hair that was never out of place. The second was a cute little girl with freckles and a mousy-brown bob cut. She seemed to be a bit of a tomboy, and her mom looked like a biker babe. She was in another class so C admired her from afar. The third was a tall brunette whom Craig claimed was "the most beautiful girl in the second grade." I had thought that another little blond girl was prettier, but C proclaimed that he didn't like "blondies." Apparently, they're not his type.

So he was a little hesitant to reveal his latest (third grade) crush. He and his grandmother have a bet going about the color of his future bride's hair. He swears he won't marry a "blondie." But when he admitted her name, I convinced him that she has beautiful strawberry-blond hair. He's okay with liking a little red-haired girl.

Well, the other day he was talking about how much he likes her, and he said he "like-likes" her. I asked him what that means, and he said he think he actually loves her. He came home telling me that he "said his first sentences to her." Huh? Oh, he talked to her for the first time! I guess Shoulder Buddies are a good conversation starter.

Trending

Last year it was Silly Bandz. This year it's Shoulder Buddies. These cute little relatives of Troll dolls are all the rage at our school. They sit atop your shoulder via a strong magnet placed under your shirt. C pestered me until I bought him one named "Baker." I had planned on getting one for him anyway. But I also came home with one named "Cents" for me!

Sounds like me

Overheard at school:

Daughter: Mommy, will you tie my shoe?
Mom: Sure, honey. Put your foot up here. Mommy's too old to bend over.

Lost lyrics

At the theater last night, I spied this movie poster. I turned to my daughter.

Me: Cut loose.

A: Footloose.

Me: Kick off your Sunday shoes.

A: [inaudible] No weed.

That's right, sweet daughter. This may be your time, but no weed.

Never give up!

I found my flash drive. I washed my flash drive. I dried my flash drive. Twice. And it still works! I'm elated! All of my SMARTBoard lessons open. I checked every page. And I immediately saved every one of them. Twice.

Never again will I place a flash drive in my pocket. (I don't even remember doing it.) I will keep it in the zippered pocket of my purse or my briefcase, but nowhere else. "Backup! Backup! Backup!" is my new motto.

Feel like giving up

I've lost my flash drive. And I'm sick about it. It carts documents from home to school and back again. And before you ask - yes, there were some things on it that I did not have backed up on my laptop. I know, it was stupid of me. The plan was to create the documents at home on my laptop, take them to school on the flashdrive, and save them to my school computer. My files at school are automatically backed up by the school network, so I didn't see the point of backing the documents up at home, too. That would just take up memory, right?

Despite me normally calculating all of the things that could possibly go wrong in any given situation, I didn't foresee losing the flash drive. Seven very important SMARTBoard lessons were loaded on that drive. Seven documents which represented at least seven hours of work. Seven documents which I will now have to spend at least seven more hours of my time in order to recreate. You can bet I will personally back them up next time.

I knew there was a reason to hate carnies.

They prey on 9-year-olds. One of them made my son cry. And tried to blame it on Super D.

As we walked past a carnival game, the carny "dropped" a baseball, which rolled toward my son. Being the good boy that he is, C reached down, picked it up, and took it back to the guy. Of course, the con man immediately started in on his line, offering C a free throw. Super D simply said, "No." My husband wasn't born yesterday. He knows a set-up when he sees one. C begins to cry, and the carny had the gall to say, "Good job, Dad!" He doesn't know how lucky he is that one of those baseballs didn't make contact with his forehead.

What did you expect?

C had been looking forward to Book Club for weeks. It meets before school on Wednesdays, but he missed the first two meetings. He was really excited when we left for school yesterday. I forgot to ask him about it until this morning.

ME: Tell me about Book Club. How was it?
C: Boring.
ME: Really? Why?
C: All we did was talk about books and what happens it books.

Fare Thee Well

Maybe we just watch too much T.V. Our family can't just say "good-bye" like a normal family. We aren't even like a normal family in another country, saying "adios," "auf wiedersehen," "au revoir," or "ciao." No, we emulate the dysfunctional Barone family from "Everybody Loves Raymond" and say, "Habanadah!"

RAY BARONE: That's the restaurant where the crazy old Chinese lady yells at you while you're leaving, right?

DEBRA BARONE: You know what she's yelling, right?

RAY BARONE: Yeah, "habanadah!"

DEBRA BARONE: She's saying, "Have a nice day."

RAY BARONE: Oh. [pause] Well, maybe she isn't crazy.

Bilingual

One of Super D's favorite stories if from when A was little. She was learning to talk but hadn't mastered it yet. Many a day, we couldn't understand a word she said. One day she looked up at him and said, "Sah'-buh-doh duh-poo'-tee-tay." "Huh?" Super D was confused. "Sah'-buh-doh duh-poo'-tee-tay," she repeated. It was obvious that she knew what she wanted, even if we didn't. To this day, we don't know what she said, but "Sah'-buh-doh duh-poo'-tee-tay" has remained a catch phrase in our household.

Fear Factor Failure

Super D bought a cut of meat that we have never had before. I think if he had prepped it and served it without me knowing what it was, I might have been able to eat it. After all, I eat hot dogs, right? But, as it was, I couldn't hold back a gag as I chewed a bite of cow's tongue. I couldn't get the image of the tongue on the cutting board out of my mind. I quickly swallowed it and declined any more. All four of us decided we just couldn't eat it. I guess I wouldn't fair well on a reality show where the contestants have to eat or drink something vile.

Poor baby!

A, the texting queen, complained tonight about doing her math homework, saying that she her fingers were tired from having to press too many buttons on her calculator!

I won't grow up!

And Tuesday night, I felt just like a kid again! For my 18th anniversary, my husband bought our family 2 season tickets to the Broadway season at our local theater. The four of us plan to take turns using the tickets since none of us are jazzed about all five musicals, and last night was opening night of the first one - "Peter Pan". I have wanted to see "Peter Pan" forever! About 12 years ago, I barely missed seeing it when it travelled through Tulsa. We had absolutely no money for the theater. This was especially disappointing because a high school friend had the role of "Slightly Soiled", and I missed his performance. In an effort to assuage my sadness, we eventually purchased the VHS that A&E had produced. My family watched that video so much that we nearly wore it out! My daughter was particularly fond of the musical. She used to watch and rewind during the song "Ugg-a-Wugg", trying to learn the choreography.

So, A and I went to the theater. We left in plenty of time to find parking and get in our seats. Unfortunately, we were halfway there when I discovered I had left the tickets at home! By the time I turned around, drove home, and drove back, we were about 10 minutes late. We missed the Overture and part of the first scene. We made it just as Mr. Darling was putting Nana out in the yard. I would have again been the "Worst Mom Ever" had we missed Cathy Rigby's entrance!

Speaking of Cathy Rigby . . . from our seats in the nosebleed section, we couldn't tell that she is nearly 60 years old! She was bouncing, tumbling, and flying all over the stage as she has done off and on for 21 years!

From the moment the music began, I was grinning like an idiot. And when Peter Pan flew onto the stage, I was literally on the edge of my seat! There's something about the theater that makes me feel like a child again, giddy with excitement. There's something almost magical about it. I was on a high all day yesterday, with "I'll Never Grow Up" running through my head nonstop!

It's David's turn next. He's taking me to see "Memphis". I have never heard of it, but I'm sure we will have a fabulous time!

I don't need the headache

I came home from church with a horrific headache. I had been feeling fine before I arrived. It occurs to me now that my headache began in the bathroom, and it plagued me throughout the evening. I am now aware that there was a smell in the bathroom that I carried out with me when I washed my hands. The soap I used was a Milk and Honey scent which had permeated the room. It's a pleasant smell, that is, until it forms a dense cloud around your head that follows you wherever you go, leaving no fresh air anywhere. I could have done without a headache tonight.

A Family Favorite

A fellow teacher introduced my family to this YouTube video. It has zoomed to the top of our faves list. Now, we quote it all the time. Thanks, Helen!


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Missing kitten

Super D fixes computers. He comes home with all kinds of stories about people and their computers. My favorite is the woman who came into the store and told him that she needed him to diagnose her computer. Her home page was set to Yahoo, and the cute kitten picture that was on there had disappeared.

Growing up

Yesterday, C told me that he cried at recess. Knowing that he is very sensitive, I hoped he hadn't cried because someone had hurt his feelings. I asked what had happened. He and another boy had collided on the soccer field, and their foreheads had bumped pretty hard. He ended up with a headache. I told him I was relieved that he was okay and that he hadn't cried because of something someone has said to him. C looked at me with a look of exaperation and said, "Mo-om, I'm in third grade now."

A New Musical Journey

A and her new guitar

She signed up for guitar class at school, but they don't let her take the instrument home to practice. Super D has wanted a guitar for a long time, so he bought one for the family. C wants Super D to buy another guitar for him, a drum set for Super D, and I (with more musical training than anyone) get to play the triangle!

Dog Days of Summer 2011

C, with his new school haircut

A, as she enters her final year of middle school

(Look out, Super D! The high school boys are beginning to flirt with her!)

Super D Fails Chemistry

In honor of our 18 years of marriage, Super D decided to blow up the kitchen. It all began with a trip to the grocery store and the purchase of some dry ice. (You can see where this is going, can't you?) Super D and C had a grand time making drinks that fogged out the top. Strawberry and grape seemed to be the favorites.

It all went wrong when Super D missed the website which warned not to put dry ice into a closed container such as a soda bottle. The next thing I know, I was frightened off of the living room couch by a loud BANG, closely followed by a CRASH! I expected to find half of the kitchen gone. What I found was the light fixture broken on the floor, liquid dripping from the ceiling, and my son on the far side of the kitchen, plastered up against the door, crying.

Thus, for the next 30 minutes of our anniversary, Super D cleaned the kitchen and receives an A+ in Home Economics!

Speechless

This is how we found C at bedtime.

I have no words.

Write your own caption.

Pet Humor

I have an allergy to pet dander, so we don't have a dog.

This is A's hamster, Peanut.

Every time I hold Peanut, I have to wash my hands so that my eyes don't swell.

I think it's funny when Peanut licks his fur when A puts him down.

Maybe he's allergic to her.

More weird weather

As if it wasn't bad enough that our state had the hottest July of any state, EVER:

I was up late late last night, playing LEGO Harry Potter, and I was so into the game, that I didn't even notice that the electricity had gone out. Once the light from my iPod Touch was out, I could see that my ceiling fan was slowing, and there was not a single light on in the room. It was a little weird to not hear the air conditioner humming. It has been my constant companion since June.

A smile crossed my face as I heard rain gently hitting the windows. Boy, do we need rain! So, I went back to my game. It didn't last long. I began to hear what I thought was hail. When I looked outside, I realized that it wasn't hail - the wind was blowing the rain so hard that it was pelting the windows. As I stood in the doorway, watching the tree in my front yard being whipped around by the wind, I heard a loud snap. I have never seen anything like that! I starting shaking uncontrollably. The storm woke A, and she was so frightened, that she didn't want to stand and watch it.

And to think, we didn't get the worst of it on our side of town. I can't imagine what hurricane force winds must be like. We were blessed to only have some fallen limbs. My hammock was blown over, but my patio furniture was still standing. Others in our city had trees uprooted and have lost their roofs. One church even lost their steeple.

the tree in our front yard

my neighbors to the west

neighbors down the street

limbs from our neighbors tree in our yard

Our Family Pasttime

One of our family's favorite things to do is spot retail signs which have been made humorous when one or more of their lights burn out. These are our all-time faves. We have laughed about them so much that we actually refer to these stores and restaurants by their new names. Can you guess their origin?

the der

Hobb Lobb

1-hour phoo

um's

SMO

Honorable mention goes to : elf Storage (which was eventually disqualified because the missing letter was simply hiding behind a tree)

There is, indeed, no place like home

Someone started a "Remember [my hometown] When..." group on facebook this week. I was invited to join and spent nearly an hour and a half in NostalgiaLand. I currently live in the town where I grew up. My family moved here when I was almost 2, so I spent nearly my entire childhood in this town. That's what it was back then - a town. A small suburb to the north of a big city. Of course, today, it is a city of its own, big enough for 3 high schools which are again close to bursting at the seams.

I attended university almost an hour away but came home on weekends when I could. And I lived with my parents during the summers. When I graduated, I married Super D and moved 2 hours from home. And that's what my hometown has always been to me - HOME.

My parents continued to live here, and Super D and I came home to visit several times each year. We lived in the next closest big city. I found out that while I enjoy living in the city, I don't enjoy living in a BIG city. So when life offered me the chance to move back home, I was ecstatic. Super D had mentioned many times in the past that he would love to live here and raise our kids here. I found it was very easy to move from the place which had always only felt like a second home. I think he would say that this truly feels like home to him, too. It always was.

I love my suburb. I like that I can drive anywhere I want to and be there in 15 minutes. I like seeing remnants of my childhood hangouts. I enjoy telling my children about the box store that used to be a Godfather's Pizza or the cable building which used to be a skating rink. It is pure joy for me to make new memories with my family at some of the same places which hold my old memories, like the bowling alley or the library. We still attend the same summer festivals which have been city staples since I was my children's ages.

Some things have changed very little, but most of what I remember has been altered or is simply gone. But the memories are there. And apparently, other people remember them, too. That's comforting.

Harry Potter mania continues

Like a good mom, I awoke at 4 a.m. and helped my daughter find the magical quill to gain early entry to Pottermore.com. I guess J.K. Rowling doesn't have enough money yet, so she will soon release a new website to further the Potterhead experience. To fuel the mania, she is allowing a lucky million fans early access to the site, if they can answer one of 7 daily questions in order to find the hidden magical quill somewhere on the web.

A was forlorn that she missed the first day. Yesterday, she arose early, but registration had already closed by 6 a.m. So, she set her alarm for 4 a.m. today. At 5 a.m., the question was posted. It was a race through "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" as we sought to find out how many points ahead Gryffindor was over Slytherin when Harry caught the Snitch in the Quidditch Finals. (Am I a geek, or what?) Next, we had to multiply that number by 35 to find the right answer. Then, we had to type in the proper web address with our answer at the end of the address line. Once we had found the magical quill, we had to levitate it, which took several tries. We were redirected to a registration page to complete, given a login name, and told to wait for a verification email.

A is still waiting for her email. I went through the whole process again and received my verification email about an hour later. Fortunately, I verified my email quickly enough and received my reward:

It will be the world's biggest bummer if I get to play early and she doesn't. Well, maybe I'll let her watch over my shoulder. ;)

A mother's work is never done

Why do I bother sweeping the kitchen floor? As soon as I sweep, my family messes it up again. Just now, I swept up 4 dead leaves, 3 (diabetes) test strips, 2 Walmart receipts, pringles crumbs, elbow macaroni, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Gardening - not so fun any more

Gardening isn't nearly so fun when all my plants are dying. With over 50 consecutive days in which the high has been over 90 degrees, my beautiful garden is looking pretty pathetic. Maybe that's because about 30 of those days have seen triple-digit highs.

I stepped outside to do some maintenance in the heat this morning. I snipped dead roses, pulled weeds, and extracted grass which had crept its way behind the stone barrier. As I moved a stone to get a better grasp on some of the stray grass, I spied a spider web and a giant egg sack. I tried not to be creeped out by it, but the moment I saw the mama spider move, a shiver ran down my spine. I ran inside and yelled out to Super D, "What kind of black spider has red spots on its back?"

Yes, I don't know one arachnid from another. How many species of spiders can you name? I don't even know if I could correctly identify a daddy long legs spider, considering that there are three different types of spiders which are generally given that name.

But after confirmation from Super D and Google images, I am convinced that I have a black widow spawning babies in my garden. Super D, for whom spiders are his kryptonite, tried to kill it with a garden spade, but I think he only succeeded in pushing it into the dirt.

Do you really think I am ever going to do anything in that part of my garden, EVER, again? I think not!

I could have gone forever without knowing that!

"I woke up and saw a figure in our hotel bedroom, and I thought I was dreaming.

And I realized immediately that someone had been in the room.

And, uh, I put on my underwear and ran down the hall to see if I could find her..."

- Alex Trebek, who chased the alleged thief and ruptured his Achilles tendon